Marriage preparation starts from home. There is no need to get married before preparing. (Gen 2:18: where God himself says, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."). Before we get prepare for marriage we must know why it is important for you to get married? Marriage is not mandatory but a choice (1 Cor 7:8f).
There are many reasons why it is good for one to marry:
1. It is a Divine Purpose for one to marry
2. It is a Divine Ordained by God
3. Presentation of purity, holiness and cleanliness
4. One needs fellowship, communication and companionship
5. Increase in all areas of life ie reproduction and production (Mal 2:15)
6. Sharing of ideals to one another
7. To learn from one another
8. For God to make one complete or whole
9. To have someone to love and to beloved
10. Sharing what one have with other person
11. To entertain both through sex
12. To motivate one another
If we know the purpose of marriage, then we can early prepare oneself for marriage. Almost always, if you’re not ready for marriage, it’s because you haven’t found the right partner yet, you don’t have a secure job, you don’t think you have enough money, or you like your life just the way it is. It also means you don’t know the reasons why you must marry. There may be a few special instances, but more often than not, these reasons make up all the good excuses to avoid marriage.
If you’re in a long term relationship (Not sexual partner) already or are wondering how you can avoid the big noose around your neck called a marriage, here are some ways one can prepare towards Marriage. If you do give these planning a serious thought, you’d understand the good side of a marriage and whether you’re ready for one just yet.
1. Commitment to God and your fiancé or fiancée. As I said above, it is God that ordained the marriage from creation and when one is committed to Him, He guides and directs. There’s no bigger proof of love than asking your lover for their hand in marriage. Don’t look at marriage as a lock without a key. Look at it as the highest commitment you can give to the one you love to prove your love for them. Commitment is a strong key we need if we want to be a good spouse.
2. Maturity. Maturity that I am talking here is not necessary, age but how mature you are in the mind, able to accept, approve, talk, care etc for your spouse. How you can handle issues among the family. Maturity count a lot in marriage. A marriage requires trust; faith and commitment which makes a boy grow into a man, and makes him feel more responsible for him and the relationship. At the same time, it gives a woman the emotional security of a stable relationship because her man’s commitment proves that he truly loves her and won’t stray into another woman’s arms. Vice-versa.
3. You’ve enjoyed your single life but prepare to leave that zone. At this point, your mind’s telling you that you’ve changed, and you want someone to share your life with, and not just your bed for a night. Leaving your single Zone that you enjoy alone, may help you to enjoy better with someone special.
4. The stages of life. As I’ve said earlier, life is a game of stages. And when you’re mentally prepared to enter the next stage, your mind convinces you of the benefits of moving to the next stage. And marriage is a pretty important stage in life. If you truly love someone, take the plunge. It’ll be a whole new experience that’ll be worth the ride.
5. Tradition. Marriage is a tradition that’s stood the test of time. Many have been in it and many are enjoying it. And just like how we tend to believe things that have been tried and tested, marriage is one of those traditions that has worked for almost all couples, as long as they’ve truly love each other. The key is to have positive mind towards each other.
6. You’re truly in love. Have you been in a serious relationship for more than a one years with the same person and you’re still truly happy to be in love? You’re more ready than you think. Love count a lot in marriage, without love, hardly will marriage exist.
7. The norms of society. The society in which we live in always may want you to get married and be useful to the society as a whole. They intend to prepare your mind for it. A marriage is universally accepted and even demanded in society through the ages. And just like we’re all meant to work, earn money, live in a house and lead our lives within the unwritten and written laws of a well functioning society, getting married to the one you love is the right and respectful way to live with each other. It may sound archaic, but marriage is still the norm and not the exception.
8. You respect values. One need to train his or herself very well, ie well cultured, and has good morals. Values in life give more meaning and make you a person of principles. Marriage is an ethical bond that defines your relationship with your collaborator as more than just a casual chuck. Your parents were married, and their parents before them. And you want to continue that legacy and follow the same principles.
9. Have someone to call your own. One need to be convince that he or she is going to have someone to call his or her own. The world is filled with billions of people. But when you’re single or still just dating someone, you’re just an individual living the lonely life with no one to call your own. But when you get married, you have someone else who’ll share your life with you legally, and have someone you truly can call your own. And when you have someone who sees life through your eyes, your life will feel more meaningful and important.
10. Financial dependability: One must be able to be ready to provide and care financially. The basic needs must be met. If one want to marry, must start saving towards your future marriage.
I have more to say but let us continue next time on this topic or you can log unto www.revivalchurchofchrist.com for more.