Marriage is a divine gift from God for believers, once we are married, we cannot divorce except unfaithfulness and death (Mathew: 5:32: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery). Therefore one needs to repent and hold unto Jesus Christ and the rules of godly marriage. There is only one way in and no way out except unfaithfulness and death (M't:19:10: His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry). M't:19:11: But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given).
Divorce is something that Jesus Christ hates so much and such practice should not be mentioned among believers. However, you can only divorce your husband or your wife if he or she is not faithful. Even that the Bible made it clear that you cannot marry again and who ever re-marryies commits adultery. When your spouse is dead, you can also marry because that covenant is broken by death.
When your spouse is unbeliever, you can decide whether to keep her or not, there is no law holding you. 2Co:6:14: Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
Now what are the reasons why Rampant divorce among Christian today?
1. Lack of repentance heart: M’t:19:7: They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? M't:19:8: He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
2. Neglecting the rules of marriage: Eph: 5:25: Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; Eph:5:22: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Many of us do not love our wife and some women cannot submit themselves to their husbands. There is no gender equality in godly marriage. One supposes to be the head and the other one the suitable helper (the man as the head and the wife as helper). You become one flesh but your responsibilities differs (Ge:2:24: Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.) Many women cannot humble themselves in marriage these days and even go beyond the head to do whatever they like. Very hard to see women calling their husband “my Lord” just as Sarah called Abraham my Lord. Many men are less responsible and depend on women to survive. Love cover multitude of sins in marriage.
3. Living in family house with your wife (Ge:2:24: Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh). This is the greatest problem many Africans face in their marriages. If we are ready to marry then we must be ready to be separated from the families.
4. Influence of bad friends (1Co:15:33: Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners)
5. Chosen out of lust and without God (Ga:5:17: For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would).
6. Divorce happens when one of the spouse disconnect himself or herself from God (Ge:3:11: And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?). Disobeying God rules of Law leads to divorce.
7. When we protest and seeing the fault of the other (Ge:3:10: And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.) When we cover our sins or defend our sins and find it difficult to come to repentance.
8. A heart that cannot forgive, can easily divorce: M't:6:14: For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: Many married souls find it hard to forgive their partner leading to divorce.
9. Lack of sex in the marriage for a long time, can leads to divorce if one of the spouse disconnect his/herself from God.
10. Lack of prayer and total commitment of the couples could leads to divorce because of disconnection by the enemy. When the other partner has spiritual husband or wife and they are not delivered by the word of God before marriage, could leads to divorce. Since God is the author of marriage, we must consult Him first before making any step. Many Christian do not dedicate their marriage to God and commit themselves to things of God rather self interest and selfishness. Familiar curses needs to be broken before joining together.
Comparing your marriage to others can also cause disconnection leading to divorce. Many of us today are just Church goers and miracle seekers not children of God. We lack commitment in our marriage hence we divorce very seconds and remarry.
I pray your marriage will not fail in Jesus name, I pray for the grace of God to carry us through as believers. Amen