Christian marriage to me is the most complex one yet most peaceful and fruitful one in the world if only we hold unto the teaching of the Holy Bible. Building a successful marriage is a lifelong challenge. Understanding the different stages of marriage and the phases you will go through as a couple may help you build a stronger and more fulfilling relationship as a Christian.
STAGE ONE OF MARRIAGE: PASSION
This is the honeymoon stage, when ROMANCE AND INTENSE ATTRACTION bond a couple together and led to commitment. You may be in the Passion Stage if your relationship is all about the two of you and the excitement, sex and intimacy you are experiencing. This reminds me of Proverbs 18:22 New King James Version (NKJV) He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD.
In retrospect, it often seems as short-lived as springtime-by a year or more, most couples have usually lost that initial magic, though this can vary by couples. But when it is happening, the passion stage is very strong and significant. It is a wave of feel-good brain chemicals orchestrated by Mother Nature to make the two of you forsake all others and take action to ensure the survival of the species.
Even if you’re marrying later in life, or for the second time, nature supplies these delicious bursts of neurotransmitters to make you bond. Couples not only frolic and fall madly in love in the passion stage – they begin to establish the trust, respect and emotional intimacy that will support their relationship forever.
Advice: Leave work early to attend to each other and have more sex as much as both agree
You may be in the Awareness Stage if you find you are beginning to get to know each other’s real strengths and weaknesses. At this stage, some mistakes may occur since both have never stayed under the same roofing before. The following can be some of the mistakes:
1. Order in the arrangement of things in the room
2. The use of language (communication)
3. Misunderstanding of certain things.
4. Little or more blaming game
5. Interruption of family members
7. Interruption of friends etc.
Advice: This is normal therefore pray and seek godly advice from couples who has passed this stage.
REBELLION STAGE. (Genesis 3:12-18New King James Version (NKJV)
12 Then the man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.”
You may be in the Rebellion Stage when each of you is seeking to assert your self-interests and you end up having volatile – or hidden - power struggles.
Advice: Learn how to negotiate and keep agreements – keeping promises builds trust. Identify areas of difference and start talking about them – one at a time. Don’t change the subject. Seek the will of God through comparing the situation with Bible verse and both must agree with the bible.
You maybe in the Cooperation Stage if both you and your spouse seem more preoccupied with the kids, money, home and work and you start to feel like business partners more than lovers.
Advice: Make your marriage a priority, de-stress and keep the passion alive. Set a day which is for you and your spouse only without the Children.
You may be in the Reunion Stage if you have an ‘empty nest’ (Loving with the heart fully and have nothing against each other) and begin to have more time for yourself and for each other to renew your friendship and passion. At this stage forgiveness is easy since both love each other with the heart.
Advice: Refocus on your marriage, forgive easily. Plan some special events that bring back good memories.
You may be in the Explosion Stage, which can happen anytime, if you are experiencing major career, health, parenting and family crises. Advice: Make use of emotional, physical and spiritual support for yourself, your spouse and your marriage. Pay attention to your physical and emotional health and well-being.
You may be in the Completion Stage as stability and security reign and you enjoy each other and the life you have created. This stage is the mature stage which most couples rarely reach in marriage.Advice: Look to create a new sense of meaning & purpose for yourselves & your marriage. Establish a special project that you will begin together.
God bless you all.
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